Working for the sake of my sanity

Its Sunday and I'm working. I'm not a holy roller. I don't even know what that means but I invoke it here to point out that I don't work at a place of worship. Although you would not have believed that a few weekends ago when the worship of all things Homecoming was upon us.  So maybe I'll say, I don't work at a conventional place of worship. That being said, there is some hope that working this morning will save me some stress come tomorrow and the rest of the week. Not eliminate, I'm not an optimist and the glass is solidly still half empty, just reduce the chances that I go off the deep end, punch someone in the face and walk out on my job.  That seems to be the most logical alternative. So to avoid that, I work. Which is what I should go do right now.

Bedside manner

I've had a number of pretty random appointments with medical professionals recently.  The one I cannot shake from my memory is my visit the doctor who stopped mid sentence to check his Blackberry and then had a hard time remembering where we left off. Really!?! REALLY!?! And then there was they doc who definitely seemed drunk or high or both and avoided answering any direct questions regarding my ailment.  I'm typically going in blind, selecting someone off of the approved insurance provider list or in the above cases, being rolled over to one of the other members of the practice when my primary care physician is too busy so no telling who is going to walk through the door.

In all of that, it occurred to me that as I work with students in my day job, I have a heightened awareness of my own manner.  When someone walks into my office, I want them to feel as comfortable here as I do.  Now I'm wondering if I can do more to creating a caring, inviting and safe space by what I say and how I interact. Many students come in overwhelmed by life and intimidated to be in the office of another adult who may very well treat them like a child.

I want to grow in the practice of thoughtful advising. Just as I relate to a friend or colleague with their concerns, I want to show care and concern to my students.  I want my bedside manner to be just as desirable as my knowledge and professionalism. I can think of many examples where I have been given correct information, in what could be perceived as a brash manner and I don't want to be that guy.

So, first step: Choose to actually give a rip about my job and those who rely on me to do it. I think that is a good place to begin.

Great day

There are good days, and there are great days. Yesterday, was a great day. There are no "what ifs" no "if onlys" just an amazing sense of satisfaction at the end of a day that went exceptionally well. 

I wish it were this easy

Could it get any better?

When I was in my twenties I went through this season where I gave up on happiness. I had achieved a number of things that other people were happy about. I graduated college, had a sweet apartment, fun roommate, hot ride and a damn good job. When I was bored or lonely or feeling particularly reflective, I would take on some massive project to clean or organize.  One day, mostly likely a Saturday morning, the time when I tended to be alone and the most bored, I took to my walk-in closet. I showed it no mercy. My goal was not just an organized grouping of clothes but color coordination also. 

When I'd finished, I sat on the floor and tried to figure out why I had so much but still didn't feel happy.  And that was the moment when I gave up on happy. The best I could come up with was contentment.  And I left it. My mantra became "I am content with my life." I concluded that maybe happiness was a delusion, a false belief or if nothing else, maybe everyone didn't get to feel happy.

I wish I could remember as vividly the moment when the happiness came back. The effect of watching too many romantic dramadies is that I expect a dramatic scene where I started to see the world in color. Where I fell in love. Where the sun sets on the beach and I walked off into the distance. It was not like any of those things. There was a time I wanted to say "I am content with my life" but that was not even close to what I felt. Happy just fit better. And so I just let happy be. And happy is where I've stayed. I like it but I don't chase it.

I've graduated college (again), I have a sweet house, a fun roommate, the same ride, which is still hot, and a damn good career and I'm happy.

Storytelling

Inspired by a friend to read this blog post from Donald Miller, I immediately hit up my local university library catalog and requested every one of the 7 books on Donald Miller's list. My appetite for reading about writing has grown to insatiable. I admit that is because I have 7 books to read with looming due dates and some weird aversion to renewals. But mostly because the first 3 books I've read have been SO good. 

I had no idea that in real life, Stephen King is just a regular old guy. Not weird, not creepy, just a dude with a wife and family living the dream.  His work is writing and he is diligently about that. His thoughts on writing are enlightening for any writer in any genere. Same thing with Anne Lamott, her advice is strongly focused on everything other than a prescription on how to get published which from what I've read so far is the unfortunate end game for many aspiring writers. If you have a story, don't just write it but write it well.

One of the most captivating ideas that both authors have discussed is character development and plot. As a non-writer, I'm bored already just typing the words. Steve (that's what I call him now) suggests that in the writing process, the writer is merely the scribe of the characters. Any development that takes place is designed by those in it.  The story is already out there, just waiting to be written. I cannot stop thinking about that idea. So while the writer may have some thoughts, some ideas about the shape of the story, he cannot force it to develop a certain way. For example, what Steve had in mind for the ending of Misery was not in fact what happened. Turns out the main character had more gumption that Steve gave him credit for. I enjoyed being carried away by a good story.  Knowing that authors can be carried away in writing in a similar way is absolutely brilliant.

I have no intentions to write more than what my personal journal and this blog can hold but reading about other people writing is definitely a new interest. On to book number three, don't disappoint me Zissner.

Upstairs Left

I told the hubs, I have embraced the idea of "entertain early and entertain often" in relation to the completion of home improvement projects.  I'm amazed at how much we've completed overall at the new abode but when I think about the actual moment when those projects are finished, its usually late, late in the evening, the night before said an is set to take place at our house.

Poor upstairs left, the room where things went to die for the first month we lived at 801, has been no exception.

Its hard to believe there was actually a cutout in the wall even though these photos were taken just a few short weeks ago.

Hallway view

Bedroom view

I am convinced, this is better.

Hallway view after

Bedroom view after

And we could not have done it without this jury-rigged contraption. Thanks FiL.

Add a bed on loan.

And that is the transformation from upstairs left:no man's land to guest bedroom retreat.